Golden Age of Detective Fiction

One of Lili’s problems was diamonds. She was hipped on diamonds.

Queen, Ellery. Queens Full: Stories (p. 120). MysteriousPress.com/Open Road. Kindle Edition.

Lili Minx, a famed beauty, spends much time and money collecting men and diamonds. Many men have tried to steal her riches, which she tallies every night before bed, and have failed. One such robber she hounded to the ends of the earth and used her voluptuous nature to make sure the judge threw him into jail for as long as the book would allow.

Lili Minx visits one of her favorite haunts, Paradise Gambling Hall, on a fine September evening. While trying to win big money, she is overcome with a terrible headache and is brought into a private room where a young maid waits, gives her a cool towel, and attends to her every whim.

Lili Minx is just about recovered from her ordeal when Inspector Queen raids Paradise. His men guard every exit, and nobody gets out of there without being searched. Just then, Lili Minx shouts- someone has stolen her rare and exquisite green diamond earrings.

The Review

Diamonds in Paradise is a terrible short story. Lili Minx, the protagonist, is portrayed as a shrill harpy, which is a one-dimensional and uninteresting character trait. Inspector Queen, the supposed detective, is gruff but his actions are often witless, making him an ineffective investigator. Ellery Queen, who appears at the end to provide the solution, does so in a way that is pitifully dumb and obvious, akin to the first dad joke you’ve ever heard.

This micro story feels like someone took a pun and tried to stretch it out into a story. It is simultaneously too long to be funny and too underwritten to be a proper story.

The criminal, a jewel thief known for impersonating young ladies pretending to be a maid, is the only character with an ounce of originality. However, even he kills himself to escape the confines of this story, leaving the rest of the characters to be unimpressive and unoriginal.

It’s unclear if this story even qualifies as a mystery. The culprit is revealed early on, and they provide the solution in a somewhat cryptic manner. However, the lack of suspense and the disappointing, abrupt ending leave much to be desired. Diamonds in Paradise is worth skipping.